There’s nothing I want more, there’s no greater pull than to make it happen.
How do you come to grips with the fact that you could lose everything in the process? Since leaving school I have found myself in the midst of a loud crowd of requirements to be fulfilled and intangible goals I have yet to figure out how to achieve. Nothing is more difficult than watching the boat sink and having no way to plug it up no matter how many hours you’ve spent throwing buckets of water out of it. Desperately trying with everything to save yourself from drowning. Such has been my reality.
After amassing thousands of dollars in medical bills from a cancer threat during my senior year that the insurance refused to cover I have felt this massive weight upon my life that I have yet to lift. The weight is multiplied and magnified when others rely on you for their needs as well.
This is it, this is a last chance to keep my life from crumbling to smithereens. I have to, I just have to make it happen. The undeniable fact is that so much of it is out of my control yet I can give as much as possible and only hope to get a fraction of something in return. I feel myself teetering on the brink of the abyss, grasping feverishly at the threads holding me to my home, my family, my education, praying to god that the line won’t break…
There’s nothing I want more, there’s no greater pull than to make it happen.
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